It’s about to get real in here. Yes, we’re attempting to answer ‘THE’ question that every person asks after a breakup or a divorce. Why did he/she cheat on me? Was I not enough? Will I ever love again? Did he/she even love me?
Relationships are the spice of life. Let us reframe that sentence – Emotions are the spice of life. They add quality to our lives. Well, almost always. But it’s necessary to acknowledge and understand that we do not live in an ideal world and not all relationships are meant to last. While some become a mere chapter in the book of life, others go on to become characters what would feature in the sequels.
We, as individuals, have a lot of unnecessary notions and framework about how a romantic relationship should be. These notions are, sadly, derived from what we see and read – in books and movies. These unrealistic expectations become the backbone of the relationships and things come crumbling down when your partner stops living up to them.
There are five stages of a relationship – falling in love, becoming a couple, disillusionment, creating love again and, forming an everlasting bond. The first two stages are perhaps the easiest parts of love. It’s so easy to fall in love. What takes efforts is staying in love. The third stage of disillusionment is the one where most couples part ways. This is the stage where the couple learns who they are, what exactly their partner is. All the façades fall off one by one and naturally, has a domino effect on the entire relationship. This is where people are vulnerable and seek comfort – maybe from the partner or from a third person. A couple who passes this stage then learns to love the ‘real’ side of their partner and forms an everlasting bond with them.
We’ve already hinted on one of the reasons why people cheat in a relationship. But it does not get over there. Humans are not as simple as we’d like them to be. Each person has a baggage they carry from their past. Each person has innumerable layers. Coming to modern relationships, things get a lot more complicated. Commitment issues and trust issues are dominant in these relationships. These issues stem from insecurities that we hold among ourselves which is then portrayed on the partner.
So, is it okay to cheat? Well, it certainly isn’t! Think about it this way – When you cheat on a person, you essentially add more load to the baggage that they’re already carrying with themselves since forever. If you’re suffering in a relationship and you are simply not happy, then leave. It does seem easier to cheat and get away with it but in the long run, the lie will gnaw you from inside.
It’s mandatory that we begin to uncomplicate our lives and become a little more pragmatic. You can’t have a ‘drive into the sunset moment’ with the love of your life and live happily ever after. What you can have is the moments of care, support, love and affection. Life isn’t supposed to be a straight path you can walk on. You have to swim, drown, run and, skip.
Relationships don’t have to be as heavy as they seem to be. Uncomplicate and Understand. The key to have a nourishing relationship is listening and understanding. Be patient and learn to accept. People make mistakes, so if you have been cheated on – forgive and let go. The future is very forgiving and yes, you’ll love again!
- Simran Bhamra
- A conventional girl, who studied engineering, with a flair for brazen expression and incessant questioning through her writing. Oh, also the head content writer at www.digitelher.com.