Marrying into a joint family?
5 common situations you’ll face, and how to deal with them!
Marriage sets a new course of life for you; may it be your routine, your choices & preferences, or even the people you interact with. At times, this sea of changes comes with a sea of people, especially if you get married into a joint family. Joint family brings with it a lot of love & support, but at the same time gaining the trust of each of them and building a strong bond with each individual can be challenging. So if you are considering getting married into a joint family, here are some of the most common situations that you’re likely to face, and the suggested approach to each of them!
- Added responsibility:
A joint family means it’s not just your husband and you, but an extension of other family members that you have to consider at all times. You’ve got to take everyone’s happiness & interests into consideration, ensuring that no one gets hurt or feels left out in the process.
Suggested Approach:
A bigger family comes with more expectations. Do what you can. Your new family will accept you the way you are. It’s a slow process that builds with time, so, have patience.
- Ego issues:
The more the number of members in the family, the greater the number of opinions, disagreements and clashes. Ego issues are common and tough to deal with, especially when some of the elders in the family may demand higher level of respect.
Suggested Approach::
Make sure you don’t lose your cool; take this situation in your stride. Consider other people’s’ opinion and emotions before taking your stand. And if you have said something unpleasant to your elders, apologise. This won’t make you less significant; in fact, it’ll only make everyone else happy.
- Comparison with other family members:
There’s bound to be a good amount of comparison if there are people of the same age or stature in the family. So, it’s pretty normal for the older family members to talk about how well-behaved one family member is as compared to the other. Yes, it can get intimidating!
Suggested Approach:
Take the criticism positively. Absorb the silver linings, and discard the unnecessary details.
- Making adjustments:
If you are from a nuclear family, then a joint household can be overwhelming. Every household has its own set of unspoken rules that you have follow, and this one may have a few more than the ones you generally deal with.
Suggested Approach:
With a joint family there will be more people to please and more expectations to meet, but be calm and do your part right. Be nice! Be open and honest about the things that bother you and the things you find difficult to adjust to. You’ll be surprised at how people will find a way around it!
- No ‘me’ time:
If you are the sort of person who loves walking into your room and being by yourself, it’s going to get a little difficult to get privacy when you’re living in a joint family that is bustling with activity.
Suggested Approach:
Try to strike a balance between family time and your ‘me’ time. Organize yourself in such a way that you can retire to your room and can spend time doing whatever you wish to, without constantly worrying about pending work or feeling that your privacy is being invaded.